I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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