Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
