how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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