I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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