PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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