It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
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