I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
