I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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