hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
