just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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