you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
