So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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