I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
