i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
