just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
