But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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