I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize