i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
We named our party play list daddy issues
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
