I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
