I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
