Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
do nipples grow back?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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