somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I think your dad took our porno
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
