Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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