The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Found your dick twin last night
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
