those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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