Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
