there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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