me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Two words: nipple clamps
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