After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
