I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
