don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
