I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Ladies don't puke and tell
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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