i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
The air taste purple.
Randomize
