It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Also, beer. Big fan.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
