just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
The best revenge is premature balding
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
