It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
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