I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
