so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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