I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
