apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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