dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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