You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
