I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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