that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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