there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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