Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize