ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
