i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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