How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
