just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
