turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
