It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
