is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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