Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
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