Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
