Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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